Motors have a maximum RPM and CPUs have finite capacity. Are we any different?
This past week I have lived the following:
“If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”
Today, I have doubts.
Did God place in each of us a limit to our generosity, our ability, our spirit? Are we designed to only go so far, take so much?
When we reach our limit, what next. What if you don't work really hard and you are mean, will you really care if amazing things happen?
No Regrets.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
North 19th
I haven't been on North 19th street in several years, but many years ago I'd be there every Friday night during football season. Each Friday I would travel to a non-descript building illuminated by the lights of used car lots and convenient stores.
Why? Back in those days every high school in the surrounding area would film their games. Before the days of “tape” and “digital” – there was actual film. It was my job to bring it to life - to take the cellulose and turn in into celebration.
The process wasn’t difficult, but it was challenging. Film arrived in either color, these coaches were the deity of the profession – they had color. Or it arrived in 8 rolls of 25’ black and white film – “Come on coach, it’s the 80’s. They make film in color now.”
The process lasted about an hour from start to finish for each team. Transferring the film from reel to magazine in the dark, processing the film in an alphabet soup of chemicals, and finally splicing the film to the finished product. By 6 am, the job was complete and the film delivered. Ready for showing in “locker room theaters” across Central Texas.
When I watch a movie today, it’s not about the director or cinematographer – it’s about the editing, post production. Those are “my people.”
But this story will focus on the dark room. In our low budget lab, the dark room was a closet – a REAL CLOSET. Not the kind found in a master bedroom. No, it was “I can’t fully stretch my arms side to side without touching the walls” size. It was small.
As you would imagine, it was also dark – hence the term “dark room.”
Entering the dark room required focus and resolve. Darkness is required, light is destructive. The process starts by knowing the relationship between the undeveloped film and the awaiting magazine. The eight rolls of film waiting like fair haired virgins to be sacrificed to the chemical bath. (I know, a little dramatic). But WAIT! The film must be in order! The coach doesn’t want the climatic game winning drive that catapults the team in to first place mistakenly shown in the third quarter. Did I put the film in the right order? If only I could turn on the light.
The first virgin, I mean film roll, is loaded and ready for winding onto the magazine. Did you know film has an up and a down? If I load the film with the “emulsion side down” the players will be reversed. In the dark, the only way ensure the film is correct is to place it between your lips. If it sticks to the upper lip it is correct. If only I could turn on the light.
Sixth reel, seventh reel, eighth reel, finished! Exciting? Yes. Why? You take a tightly wound 25’ roll of film and drop it at your feet. You’ll find a tangled mess of linemen, running backs and disappointed coaches.
Seal the magazine tight and open the door. Come out of the closet.
Some days are light being back in the dark room.
Too many projects to complete in the time allotted? Sounds like eight rolls of film and anxious coaches.
Something in your life not turn out quite as expected? Sounds like you didn’t check the emulsion.
Find yourself in a mess of your own creation? Sounds like you dropped a roll of film.
The difference is that in life we can turn on the light, come out of the dark room.
No Regrets.
Why? Back in those days every high school in the surrounding area would film their games. Before the days of “tape” and “digital” – there was actual film. It was my job to bring it to life - to take the cellulose and turn in into celebration.
The process wasn’t difficult, but it was challenging. Film arrived in either color, these coaches were the deity of the profession – they had color. Or it arrived in 8 rolls of 25’ black and white film – “Come on coach, it’s the 80’s. They make film in color now.”
The process lasted about an hour from start to finish for each team. Transferring the film from reel to magazine in the dark, processing the film in an alphabet soup of chemicals, and finally splicing the film to the finished product. By 6 am, the job was complete and the film delivered. Ready for showing in “locker room theaters” across Central Texas.
When I watch a movie today, it’s not about the director or cinematographer – it’s about the editing, post production. Those are “my people.”
But this story will focus on the dark room. In our low budget lab, the dark room was a closet – a REAL CLOSET. Not the kind found in a master bedroom. No, it was “I can’t fully stretch my arms side to side without touching the walls” size. It was small.
As you would imagine, it was also dark – hence the term “dark room.”
Entering the dark room required focus and resolve. Darkness is required, light is destructive. The process starts by knowing the relationship between the undeveloped film and the awaiting magazine. The eight rolls of film waiting like fair haired virgins to be sacrificed to the chemical bath. (I know, a little dramatic). But WAIT! The film must be in order! The coach doesn’t want the climatic game winning drive that catapults the team in to first place mistakenly shown in the third quarter. Did I put the film in the right order? If only I could turn on the light.
The first virgin, I mean film roll, is loaded and ready for winding onto the magazine. Did you know film has an up and a down? If I load the film with the “emulsion side down” the players will be reversed. In the dark, the only way ensure the film is correct is to place it between your lips. If it sticks to the upper lip it is correct. If only I could turn on the light.
Sixth reel, seventh reel, eighth reel, finished! Exciting? Yes. Why? You take a tightly wound 25’ roll of film and drop it at your feet. You’ll find a tangled mess of linemen, running backs and disappointed coaches.
Seal the magazine tight and open the door. Come out of the closet.
Some days are light being back in the dark room.
Too many projects to complete in the time allotted? Sounds like eight rolls of film and anxious coaches.
Something in your life not turn out quite as expected? Sounds like you didn’t check the emulsion.
Find yourself in a mess of your own creation? Sounds like you dropped a roll of film.
The difference is that in life we can turn on the light, come out of the dark room.
No Regrets.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Fat Red Cardinal
When you close your eyes, what do you see?
With perfect clarity, I can see the the cabin at Lake Ouachita (Arkansas) that Carla and I stayed at when Emily was very young.
Seconds later, I can transport myself to Creede, Colorado and see the spot on the mountain that resembles the continent of Africa.
Or I can imagine the Fat Red Cardinal in St. Louis.
Often I'll press the mental pause button during a moment to capture a distinct memory. Images to be catalogued in the mind for retrieval when levity is needed.
Sometimes the mental pause is planned, premeditated - "Clarence, you'll never be in this spot again. Enjoy it." Click.
Sometimes it is random, which I think appears to others as a trance. "Clarence, look at that plate of nachos!" Click.
Maybe "image" is too simple a concept. They are not merely snapshots. They are vivid, moving, emotional. They are connective, powerful.
When you look at the picture above, you may only see a Fat Red Cardinal. I see, no I feel, the Cardinal. I smell the stadium. I taste the nachos. Damn those nachos!
No Regrets.
Next floor Housewares!
For the first twenty years of my business career, I probably took a total of 10 out of town overnight trips. Since my career change, from banking to agriculture three years ago, I probably take 10 a year. So many cities, airports and hotels you truly begin to feel numb. Once upon a time I could tell you details about every flight I have ever deplaned - down to the aircraft. Now I couldn't even tell you the cities I have seen. The smell of Cinnabons has become a stench in my nostrils! (Did I mention I was reading through the Bible in a year?)
Travel is not an option. My job requires jaunts - whether to West Lafayette to attend Purdue Management School or Egypt to drink a cold beer with T. Krenek. That would be Indiana and Texas - not France and, well Egypt!
So I decided that while I must travel, I don't have to always be Clarence.
On a recent trip to St. Louis, Clarence attended the meetings - but Jack came along as well.
*** We are going to pause here for a little clarity and a reality check. First, I am not crazy, well at least not to the point of needing medication or therapy. Second, this is not an attempt to escape from being a devoted husband and father. ***
Oh, you haven't met Jack? Let's see, Jack sells aircraft engines for a large company based in Europe. Jack is confident, secure and enjoys banter. If Jack were to be cast for a movie - he would be played by Vince Vaughn. Think of Vince in Swingers. Jack is so money he doesn't even know it.
Jack lands in St. Louis and doesn't know a soul. Jack walks through the airport wearing black leather shoes, black pants, black belt, black shirt and a dark jacket. Clarence would wear khaki pants. For effect, Jack wears dark sunglasses - INDOORS! Jack doesn't care - the fine people of St.Louis don't know him and he doesn't know them.
Jack takes a cab to the Hilton striking up a conversation with Boris the cab driver. Jack understands about every third word from Boris. It's possible that Boris has a cousin that married a fiber bearing goat OR his cousin just purchased a fiberglass boat. His accent was thick, probably Eastern Europe - surely a country visited by Jack.
Jack had lunch at the Hilton next to Busch Stadium and chatted with his delightful server Eva. Eva was your typical aunt delivered straight from central casting. Eva asked "Anything I can do for you?" Eva probably wasn't even aware of what she said, having delivered the line a hundred times previous. It was "as matter of fact" as people say "good morning." More of a comment than an actual question. Jack replied, "Can you sing me a good show tune?" Eva relaxed, she became engaged and yes - she even sang a few bars! Eva became a wealth of information about Missouri - where to eat, where to visit. Jack was becoming fun, liberating. More JACK, less CLARENCE!
*** Here we pause again as Clarence attends another session of the meeting. "Growers want an advocate in the seed industry so they have a voice when dealing with ....." Why isn't Jack participating in these meetings! ***
Back to Jack!
Jack's room was on the 17th floor of the West Tower - with a great view of the Arch. The West Tower may have the SSSLLLOOWWWWEEESSTT elevators west of the Mississippi. As Jack boards the elevator he is surrounded by 5 to 6 women in their late 40's to early 50's. As the elevator ascends, it stops at seemingly every floor. About the 7th floor, Jack yells out, "Next floor Housewares!" You would have thought Johnny Carson just finished his monologue. Jack was a star! As the elevator continued to climb, one lady yells out, "Tell me when we get to lingerie!" Jack is now worried. Jack is taking the stairs!
Why isn't Clarence more like Jack? Jack doesn't judge strangers - he talks to them. Jack strikes up conversations with the greeter at the ballpark. Jack eats BBQ on his nachos. Jack doesn't have self-doubt. Jack got Eva to sing and ladies on an elevator to laugh.
Clarence likes Jack. JACK IS GREAT!
I know Jack is inside me - everyday, all the time. Why does he hide? Or why does Clarence hide him?
No Regrets.
Travel is not an option. My job requires jaunts - whether to West Lafayette to attend Purdue Management School or Egypt to drink a cold beer with T. Krenek. That would be Indiana and Texas - not France and, well Egypt!
So I decided that while I must travel, I don't have to always be Clarence.
On a recent trip to St. Louis, Clarence attended the meetings - but Jack came along as well.
*** We are going to pause here for a little clarity and a reality check. First, I am not crazy, well at least not to the point of needing medication or therapy. Second, this is not an attempt to escape from being a devoted husband and father. ***
Oh, you haven't met Jack? Let's see, Jack sells aircraft engines for a large company based in Europe. Jack is confident, secure and enjoys banter. If Jack were to be cast for a movie - he would be played by Vince Vaughn. Think of Vince in Swingers. Jack is so money he doesn't even know it.
Jack lands in St. Louis and doesn't know a soul. Jack walks through the airport wearing black leather shoes, black pants, black belt, black shirt and a dark jacket. Clarence would wear khaki pants. For effect, Jack wears dark sunglasses - INDOORS! Jack doesn't care - the fine people of St.Louis don't know him and he doesn't know them.
Jack takes a cab to the Hilton striking up a conversation with Boris the cab driver. Jack understands about every third word from Boris. It's possible that Boris has a cousin that married a fiber bearing goat OR his cousin just purchased a fiberglass boat. His accent was thick, probably Eastern Europe - surely a country visited by Jack.
Jack had lunch at the Hilton next to Busch Stadium and chatted with his delightful server Eva. Eva was your typical aunt delivered straight from central casting. Eva asked "Anything I can do for you?" Eva probably wasn't even aware of what she said, having delivered the line a hundred times previous. It was "as matter of fact" as people say "good morning." More of a comment than an actual question. Jack replied, "Can you sing me a good show tune?" Eva relaxed, she became engaged and yes - she even sang a few bars! Eva became a wealth of information about Missouri - where to eat, where to visit. Jack was becoming fun, liberating. More JACK, less CLARENCE!
*** Here we pause again as Clarence attends another session of the meeting. "Growers want an advocate in the seed industry so they have a voice when dealing with ....." Why isn't Jack participating in these meetings! ***
Back to Jack!
Jack's room was on the 17th floor of the West Tower - with a great view of the Arch. The West Tower may have the SSSLLLOOWWWWEEESSTT elevators west of the Mississippi. As Jack boards the elevator he is surrounded by 5 to 6 women in their late 40's to early 50's. As the elevator ascends, it stops at seemingly every floor. About the 7th floor, Jack yells out, "Next floor Housewares!" You would have thought Johnny Carson just finished his monologue. Jack was a star! As the elevator continued to climb, one lady yells out, "Tell me when we get to lingerie!" Jack is now worried. Jack is taking the stairs!
Why isn't Clarence more like Jack? Jack doesn't judge strangers - he talks to them. Jack strikes up conversations with the greeter at the ballpark. Jack eats BBQ on his nachos. Jack doesn't have self-doubt. Jack got Eva to sing and ladies on an elevator to laugh.
Clarence likes Jack. JACK IS GREAT!
I know Jack is inside me - everyday, all the time. Why does he hide? Or why does Clarence hide him?
No Regrets.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I had a good day daddy.
Once an event gets placed on the big office calendar, it is set. The big office calendar controls all major events - paydays, car payments, doctor visits, dreaded business trips and fun time.
A couple of weeks ago, Erin planned her "daddy & daughter" summer trip - Six Flags. The date was marked - July 10th. Would it rain? Would we REALLY go? The last five evenings had been the same - can we print the tickets yet? Hey daddy, if you order online everyone pays kid price! (What can I say, she is cheap like her dad). She even printed off a list of every ride in the park to plan her attack. (Now, if she had put it on a spreadsheet - she would be just like her dad!?
Well, she was up early this morning for the big day. Would it rain? Are we really going?
Every mile that passed was spent looking at the clouds. And every mile that passed was dry. Six Flags was a go. Look! I see a roller coaster!
Success for her was measured in checking all the rides off her list. After 8+ hours, mission accomplished.
"I had a good day daddy," she said on the way to the car.
Success indeed.
No Regrets.
A couple of weeks ago, Erin planned her "daddy & daughter" summer trip - Six Flags. The date was marked - July 10th. Would it rain? Would we REALLY go? The last five evenings had been the same - can we print the tickets yet? Hey daddy, if you order online everyone pays kid price! (What can I say, she is cheap like her dad). She even printed off a list of every ride in the park to plan her attack. (Now, if she had put it on a spreadsheet - she would be just like her dad!?
Well, she was up early this morning for the big day. Would it rain? Are we really going?
Every mile that passed was spent looking at the clouds. And every mile that passed was dry. Six Flags was a go. Look! I see a roller coaster!
Success for her was measured in checking all the rides off her list. After 8+ hours, mission accomplished.
"I had a good day daddy," she said on the way to the car.
Success indeed.
No Regrets.
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