Wooden Snakes & Red Santas

Every couple of days, you'll hear a scream emanate from somewhere in our house. Followed by "Good One!"

You know that someone just stumble upon the hidden wooden snake or our four foot tall plastic Santa.

Sidebar - Let me tell you the story about the plastic Santa. About fifteen years ago, I was coming home from work and stopped by Lowes to buy some Christmas decorations. I always wanted a plastic Santa with a light for the front yard. The purchase was made and the proud addition to our family was presented to Carla. Her reaction?
"Why did you buy a black Santa?"
What!?!
Sure enough, I purchase a black Santa (You may think it would be more appropriate to say an African-American Santa - but can plastic have a nation of origin?) A few minutes later, we were on our way back to Lowes to exchange Santa. Carla marched to the customer service counter to make the exchange - only to be confronted by an African-American associate. Awkward!
"What is the reason for your exchanging Santa today?" asked the clerk.
"Because he's black." responded Carla.

Santa is always a surprise on a June morning when he is hiding behind the shower curtain or siting in your car. "Good one!" Come in late at night and Santa is standing in the laundry room....."Good one!"

The wooden snake was some Dollar Store toy that is very realistic in a poorly lit room. Find a snake in your shoe while getting ready for work. "Good one!" Snake appears in the pantry sitting next to the Fruit Loops. "Good one!"

Sometimes life has a wooden snake or red Santa waiting for you. A surprise, something unexpected. When those surprises come, what is your reaction?

The next time you find that wooden snake say, "Good one!"
The next time you see that red Santa say, "Good one!"

Now if you see a real snake? Run.

No Regrets.

People

Have you ever stopped to think about all the people you have seen in your life?

What about all the people you have talked to in your life?

How about the people you have connected to in your life?

When I think about some of the connections I've made in my life I begin to recall wonderful stories. Stories built on successes and failures; victories and defeats.

Of course, some of the connections are obvious - the ones with my beautiful wife Carla, my kids, my family. Others are unique - each with a story that makes me smile, laugh or ponder their greater meaning.

I think of Tom Dotter who during a Sunday School retreat told me "I love you like a brother." An odd comment at first, but the greater meaning has stuck with me all these years. We are brothers in Christ. He was mature in his Walk, I was just starting. If I saw Tom today, my first words to him would be "I love you like a brother." A connection made through shared Faith.

There is Jamie Crow - who could quite possibly be my brother! Our two girls were born four days apart - over 16 years ago. We both lost our fathers at an age we needed them the most. We both have been blessed with strong women in our lives. He's a good friend, a confidant. A connection made through shared experiences.

I think of George Dixon, a high school teacher who doesn't see color - only kids. Dave Byrd, a guiding force in my Christian walk and Joe Barrow, a wise counsel. So many others - Ina Jekel, Charles Carr, William Mathis, Robert Morgan. Each a connection - a unique connection.

There are so many more - each having left an indelible mark on my life. Each altering my life - adding color to my fabric. Some are still friends, some have since departed - but their connection is no less real. Can something that makes "you" you be denied?

Have I done the same for others? Am I taking, but not giving?

I believe people are put in our lives for a purpose (so of course the opposite must also be true). We should take the time to listen, discern, care - connect. No, we must take the time to listen, discern, care and connect.

I think of what Christian Shephard told Jack, "Nobody does it alone."

I leave you with a quote from Herman Melville:
"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."

No Regrets

Every moment has a meaning.

One day I was sitting at a red light, and as I often do, I was twirling my wedding band to pass the time. Why? Who knows - maybe I was thinking about having the phrase "One Ring to rule them all...." inscribed using Black Speech, the fictional language of Mordor, written in the artificial script of Tengwar. This particular time I dropped my ring on the floor of my truck. By the time it was retrieved - the light had already turned green. As I began to pull into an intersection, a car from the other direction ran what was now his red light. Had I not dropped the ring would I have been hit by that car?

Who knows, but that moment became important - every moment is important. And so, every moment has a meaning.

Moments are fleeting, but the memories they create can last a lifetime.

Every moment has a meaning. No Regrets.

Father's Day

It was a Spring morning in 1994 when we received the call to come by the hospital because dad had choked on a piece of steak the night before. Although the choking was no longer an immediate concern, the throat swelling that preceded the choking needed to be addressed.

That afternoon, we received the official word that dad had a "growth in his throat" - most likely cancer. Standing there with my mother as the doctors discussed possible treatments (and life expectancy) was surreal. I thought we were going to the hospital to laugh with dad about his poor chewing habits!

To my dad, the news of having cancer was devastating. My dad - 6'3" and 250 lbs of a man gave up in minutes. He was adamant - no treatments. Let me die. Feelings that many in the same situation probably experience. After a few days, the fight was back.

A few weeks later, after a visit to MD Anderson, we found out how severity and aggressiveness of the cancer. As I like to say now, it was "cancer of the everything."

At that point, we had two choices. Give up or Go forward.

My dad and I were fortunate in that we had the next 6 months to do the things that had been placed on hold for whatever reason. We went to that ballgame - you know the one that was too far away last week. And we talked. We toured the Astrodome - you know that thing you don't really want to do. And we talked. He would hold my daughter on his lap. And we talked.

In the Fall of 1994, the end came quickly. He died when his heart failed in the parking lot of MD Anderson. My dad passed away.

That few minutes of choking on a piece of steak created six months of an opportunity to say good bye. I had closure. I had No Regrets.

And we still talk.

I miss you dad.

Happy Father's Day

No Regrets

I was recently told by a good friend that I am living with too many regrets. As with most true statements, it stung a little. At first I questioned their statement; thus defending my very life. Aren't regrets important?

I've spent the better part of the past two days with those words replaying in my mind. Over and over again - "you are living with too many regrets."

You know what? They were right. Once I accepted the truth it was like Benjamin Linus telling Locke, "I don't think you need to be in that chair anymore" during the final few minutes of Lost.

We have free will. We make choices. Do we make poor decisions? Do we make mistakes? Of course we do, but we move on, we learn, we grow.

We are on a journey - No Regrets.