It's Not About Me

I was recently asked the question, "How does God appear to you?"

Without a second thought my reply was that I find God in other people. Some people "talk" to God - they claim to hear an audible voice. I have never had that experience, but I don't doubt their experience. I yet to talk to anyone that has seen a burning bush...

For me, it has always been through people. For example, in a time when I need nothing more than encouragement, someone that I have not seen or spoken to in weeks will call out of the blue. Coincidence? Some may think that, but I belive it is God at work. I have been in conversations with people and the subject would divert down a rabbit hole and we would end up discussing an unspoken need.

If our commandment is to love one another - then it stands to reason that God would be at work in our relationships. Coming to us at the level of our need through other people.

Sitting in Sunday School class this past week the leader said the following - "I have to remember daily that it is NOT about me." I too have struggled with looking at self first - putting my needs above others.

His lessong centered around four teaching points:

1. Look for the good in other people.

2. Learn to build other people up. 1 Thes. 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

3. Be a reflection of God's love, foregiveness and grace. Eph 4:1-3 "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

4. Guard the value of YOUR reflection. It is what others see.

No Regrets.

Air Bear

Air Bear is the affectionate nickname for my youngest daughter Erin.

Air Bear is the greatest volleyball player that ever has or ever will live. At least to me. Watching her mature and gain confidence in the game has been enjoyable. I'll admit, I have pushed her hard at times, but not because she lacks ability. Instead, it was because I know she CAN do better.

She has the ability, now it is a matter of her gaining self confidence - becoming a leader on the court.

Watching her "high-five" teammates, hearing other parents yell "Go Erin!", listening to coaches tell her how much she has improved are all satisfying. However, watching her slowly evolve into a leader on the court has been the most rewarding.

Erin, you have so much potential and a love for the game. Take it to the next level and see how far you can go.

No Regrets.

The Good, Bad and the Yummy

It's getting sad that my trips are becoming memorable based on the food. For example, when I think of my trip to New Braunfels it will be - Onion Rings!

The Good:

Edna, Texas - Maekers Sausage
Amarillo, Texas - Pecan pie with ice cream
Egypt, Texas - Sweet Potato casserole
Memphis, Tennessee - EVERYTHING
Gruene, Texas - Cold Beer
St. Louis, Missouri - Ballpark nachos

The Bad:

Stoneville, Mississippi - Pulled Pork
Forrest City, Arkansas - Meat Loaf (I still can't get past the name)
Columbus, Ohio - Pulled Pork (See the pattern - no pulled pork!)

No Regrets.

Countdown to Halloween

Welcome to Jamaica! Mon!

Mipple

It is done. The Mid-South swing is over and here is the scorecard:

Drive Time: 26 hours
Miles: 1,498
Days: 3.5
States: 5

As with any trip of an extended duration, opportunities abound to learn more about yourself, the people you are with and the places you see.

What I learned.....

Arkansas is incredibly beautiful in the Fall.
Mississippi doesn’t have any Tejano music stations.
Texas has the best looking women.
My James Bond trivia is not as good as I imagined.
Did I really even watch the Lord of the Rings?
I spent too much time watching Blazing Saddles and not enough time reading CS Lewis.
Life can change in a moment.
Meat Loaf needs a new name.
Communication is better than silence.
Brooke may know every song – EVERY SONG.
You can eat too much Bar-B-Q.
Yellow lines mean two-way traffic.
You CAN win at slots.
I have no fear of public speaking.
Mississippi tea comes in two flavors – Sweet and Real Sweet.
Louisiana spends very little on roads.
Memphis has good food.
I love bridges.
People in Mississippi need to know that you can eat animals other than catfish.
I would miss Mexican food if I left Texas.

No Regrets.

October

Something amazing will happen this month. I feel it.

No Regrets.

Embug

Innocent, trusting, little, adorable, loving, cuddly, sweet, dainty, chubby, wide-eyed, beautiful. The newborn girl that slept with pacifiers on her eyes.

Time stole my baby.

Kindhearted, funny, inspiring, dazzling, animated, sneaky, temperamental, spirited, timid, beautiful. The little girl that loved dinosaurs and dogs.

Time stole my child.

Sassy, sincere, organized, smart, tough, stubborn, determined, spoiled, inquisitive, energetic, independent, beautiful. The teenage girl with stars in her eyes.

Time is stealing my young lady.

No Regrets.

Lap Dance

Jack is not an animal lover. He has no pets. In fact, the only photo that exists of me with an animal is from 1972 - little Jack and a duck. Yes, a duck.

So with that preface, let me vent......

I am a proponent of personal choice. Your passions, fetishes and idiosyncrasies are just that - yours. Who am I to judge?

But for heaven's sake, why does a grown man choose to drive around with a little dog on his lap?

I'm not sure if it is DRIVING with a dog on your lap or driving with a DOG on your lap that bothers me. Most likely it is because a GROWN MAN was DRIVING with a DOG on his lap!

I guess it could be worse - it could have been a duck.

No Regrets.

The Bible Agrees

2 Corinthians 7:10

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

No Regret.

Do Over

Today I want a do-over.

Boating Lesson II

I have been thinking about my last post lately. True, I can't change the way the wind blows, but who says I can't change the body of water? If I simply adjust my sails in the current lake with the same wind pattern, the result will be a circle - at best.

Quit trying to change the wind. Quit trying to adjust the sails in a hurricane. Move the boat.

Captain Jack - No Regrets.

Boating Lessons

My favorite bit of wisdom goes like this, "I can't change the way the wind blows, I can only adjust my sails."

It reminds me that so much of my day (and my life) is outside my control. Therefore, focus on what I can control - my thoughts and actions. Today presented the perfect opportunity to exercise this wisdom. An adverse wind was blowing today and I had a choice - become pounded against the reef or adjust my sails and find a safe harbor.

Thankfully, I have loaded my boat with good co-captains.

Maybe I should get a tattoo of a sailboat?

No Regrets.

Quality Customer Service

This is Kara who was kind enough to participate in the making of a funny slideshow. The service was outstanding. I will not name the hotel chain as to protect her identity. Thanks for playing Kara!

No Regrets.

Who Needs A Plane?

Another week, another trip. This week was Amarillo - marking the official start of 2011 for the company. A new start, a fresh beginning. Every year starts with optimism, but this year feels different.

Reflecting on the success of the meeting, I determined the outcome of the meeting had a direct correlation to the effort put into it. Is life any different? The more you pour into life, the more you can expect out of it.

What about friendships? Relationships? Love? You can't expect a positive outcome without putting in effort.

Flying high after the meeting - could have made it back to Waco without a plane.

Challenge to myself: Pour everything I have into every day.

No Regrets.

By the way....Jack is Back. I was sitting in the Starbucks line in Amarillo while talking on the phone with Carla. In a moment of confusion, I told Carla "Thank you, have a good day." At the same time telling the Starbucks lady, "I love you. See you tonight." Jack may have a restraining order against him.

Don't even get Jack started on the Sonic girl.....

What I Want

I was recently asked to participate in an exercise to develop a compensation package. The form was simple in design – “What do you want? Rank from “A” to “C.”

At first, the thought of filling out the form was exciting - "tabula rasa.” But it soon became difficult – then impossible. What can start as compensation can quickly become handcuffs.

After I submitted the document, I begin to formulate a list of what I REALLY want.

I want to be the husband my wife deserves.
I want to be the father my children need.
I want to be the son my mother has earned.
I want Christian men for my two daughters when they are ready to date.
I want to earn the respect of my co-workers.
I want to control my free-will.
I want to hear “Well done, good and faithful servant” when my journey is done.
I want patience.
I want to listen with my heart when a friend talks.
I want to not be quick to judge.
I want the ability to forgive as easily as I ask for forgiveness.

No Regrets.

The Secret to My Success

No particular order....

My Dad who taught me the work day begins at 6 am and ends at 8 pm.

My Wife who forgives and forgets.

Jesus who died for my sins.

Mr. Bostick who taught be attitude and ability will lead to success.

Brooke who shared the wisdom "If you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen."

Mr. Mathis who told me "Money is a pacifer, the job is the satisfier."

My kids who remind me what is really important.

David Byrd who affirms my Spititual Walk.

God who has already set my path.

My Mom who taught discipline and love with the same hands.

To be continued.....

Treasures on Earth

I have decided that in this life on earth, this worldly existence, it all comes down to family/friends.

I understand the significance of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I agree with the basic needs (Physiological and Safety) - but they are just that basic, obvious. For me, it all starts and stops with "love and belonging" - family/friends.

Furthermore, I understand the importance of Faith. The undeniable truth of a supreme being that guides our path.

But as I navigate through this earthly realm - it is people, relationships that define my daily experience. I am enriched (or harmed) by the relationships I make, pursue, nurture or neglect.

My lowest points are when I realize I have hurt my spouse, ignored my children or wronged a friend. Sunday School lessons are built on the premise of "you can't take your treasures with you." Is that true? If your treasures are the connections you make with other people - will they pass on to the afterlife?

Look at the definition of "friend":

1. A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.
2. An associate who provides cooperation, support or assistance.

How is a new car better? What use is an extra bedroom? What would you do with an extra $5 an hour?

I treasure my family and friends more than earthly possessions. They are my treasure on earth.

"Lord, Help me treat my family and friends with the respect they deserve. Never let them question my feelings or be concerned about my intentions. Bless each of them as they have truly blessed me."

No Regrets.

Lost and Found

A few hours after my last post I settled in to watch the next episode of Lost. I am rewatching the series from start to finish - and enjoying every minute. When you REALLY watch the series, you will find fundamental truths about life. It is more than just a show.

In this episode there was an exchange between Locke and Sun. Locke makes the comment, "I used to get angry, even frustrated." He goes on to say. "That was when I was lost." Locke ends by saying to find what he was missing, "I quit looking".

My first reaction was "Seek and you shall find." If you quit looking, how will you find?

Must me something more. He is not talking spiritually - he is talking worldly.

So I asked "What makes me angry and frustrated?" Bingo!

Last week I was frustrated - why? I realized the truth in what Locke was saying. I get angry and frustrated when I am "lost" in worldly problems. Too many task, not enough time. So this week - I quit looking. I'm not looking for the extra time to finish tasks. I'm not looking to solve every problem.

Stay grounded and focused - find what has been lost.

To all the people who felt my anger and frustration last week - I apologize.

No Regrets.

A resort of last resort

Why am I sitting at home at 11:30 pm instead of reading a book by the fire in a cabin? Well, I'm glad you asked.

The day started as planned - up at 8 and on the road by 10am. Car loaded, bags packed and anticipation riding high. Great Mexican lunch on Buchanan Lake (Emily ordered nachos - classic(see other post)). While Carla and I shared cheese enchiladas with cheese sauce. As I told the waitress, you can't get enough cheese.

Anyway, back on the road for the 2.5 hour drive to the Frio River. On the way, we made jokes like "What if the river is dry?" Surely rivers don't dry up.

We finally make it to our destination - River Rim Resort. Oh the sound of it, RIVER - nice, cool and refreshing. RIM - a vista of the Hill Country. Resort - pampered.

Here is where the story unravels.

1. "The resort is $250 a night." Hmmm, my confirmation says $200. The lady proceeds to tell me that "it is never $200 a night." So, let's look at the webpage - $210 a night peak.....this is TUESDAY.

Clarence - don't worry. An extra $150 for three nights will be ok...(Clarence is soft).

2. "The pool is an extra $10 per person." Hmmm, where was that on the website? Nope, not listed.

Clarence - Calm down, there is a river. Who needs a pool?

3. "Your cabin is not at this property it is down the road."

Clarence - Get in touch with Jack.

4. We drive the half mile to the "cabin" (actually an old house)and found it had not been cleaned by the staff. To make matters worse, the "romantic fire pit" was a circle of old rocks (full of empty beer cans). The family Bar-B-Que area was a rusty old oil drum. And the house smelled like cat urine - no offense to urine.

Jack - Get in the car.

Had the drive back to the office taken more than 5 minutes, there would have been bloodshed (you know I was packing heat).

Jack - Go take care of this.

Jack storms into the office. "We will not be staying at your "resort." This is totally unacceptable." Don't be rude Jack. They still have your credit card. "We are not at all satisfied with the situation." Full refund. Good job Jack.

Back to the car. Back home.

And yes, the river did have water.

No Regrets.

Warning: Contents May Be Hot.

Motors have a maximum RPM and CPUs have finite capacity. Are we any different?

This past week I have lived the following:

“If you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

Today, I have doubts.

Did God place in each of us a limit to our generosity, our ability, our spirit? Are we designed to only go so far, take so much?

When we reach our limit, what next. What if you don't work really hard and you are mean, will you really care if amazing things happen?

No Regrets.

North 19th

I haven't been on North 19th street in several years, but many years ago I'd be there every Friday night during football season. Each Friday I would travel to a non-descript building illuminated by the lights of used car lots and convenient stores.

Why? Back in those days every high school in the surrounding area would film their games. Before the days of “tape” and “digital” – there was actual film. It was my job to bring it to life - to take the cellulose and turn in into celebration.

The process wasn’t difficult, but it was challenging. Film arrived in either color, these coaches were the deity of the profession – they had color. Or it arrived in 8 rolls of 25’ black and white film – “Come on coach, it’s the 80’s. They make film in color now.”

The process lasted about an hour from start to finish for each team. Transferring the film from reel to magazine in the dark, processing the film in an alphabet soup of chemicals, and finally splicing the film to the finished product. By 6 am, the job was complete and the film delivered. Ready for showing in “locker room theaters” across Central Texas.

When I watch a movie today, it’s not about the director or cinematographer – it’s about the editing, post production. Those are “my people.”

But this story will focus on the dark room. In our low budget lab, the dark room was a closet – a REAL CLOSET. Not the kind found in a master bedroom. No, it was “I can’t fully stretch my arms side to side without touching the walls” size. It was small.

As you would imagine, it was also dark – hence the term “dark room.”

Entering the dark room required focus and resolve. Darkness is required, light is destructive. The process starts by knowing the relationship between the undeveloped film and the awaiting magazine. The eight rolls of film waiting like fair haired virgins to be sacrificed to the chemical bath. (I know, a little dramatic). But WAIT! The film must be in order! The coach doesn’t want the climatic game winning drive that catapults the team in to first place mistakenly shown in the third quarter. Did I put the film in the right order? If only I could turn on the light.

The first virgin, I mean film roll, is loaded and ready for winding onto the magazine. Did you know film has an up and a down? If I load the film with the “emulsion side down” the players will be reversed. In the dark, the only way ensure the film is correct is to place it between your lips. If it sticks to the upper lip it is correct. If only I could turn on the light.

Sixth reel, seventh reel, eighth reel, finished! Exciting? Yes. Why? You take a tightly wound 25’ roll of film and drop it at your feet. You’ll find a tangled mess of linemen, running backs and disappointed coaches.

Seal the magazine tight and open the door. Come out of the closet.

Some days are light being back in the dark room.

Too many projects to complete in the time allotted? Sounds like eight rolls of film and anxious coaches.

Something in your life not turn out quite as expected? Sounds like you didn’t check the emulsion.

Find yourself in a mess of your own creation? Sounds like you dropped a roll of film.

The difference is that in life we can turn on the light, come out of the dark room.

No Regrets.

Fat Red Cardinal

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

With perfect clarity, I can see the the cabin at Lake Ouachita (Arkansas) that Carla and I stayed at when Emily was very young.

Seconds later, I can transport myself to Creede, Colorado and see the spot on the mountain that resembles the continent of Africa.

Or I can imagine the Fat Red Cardinal in St. Louis.

Often I'll press the mental pause button during a moment to capture a distinct memory. Images to be catalogued in the mind for retrieval when levity is needed.

Sometimes the mental pause is planned, premeditated - "Clarence, you'll never be in this spot again. Enjoy it." Click.

Sometimes it is random, which I think appears to others as a trance. "Clarence, look at that plate of nachos!" Click.

Maybe "image" is too simple a concept. They are not merely snapshots. They are vivid, moving, emotional. They are connective, powerful.

When you look at the picture above, you may only see a Fat Red Cardinal. I see, no I feel, the Cardinal. I smell the stadium. I taste the nachos. Damn those nachos!

No Regrets.

Next floor Housewares!

For the first twenty years of my business career, I probably took a total of 10 out of town overnight trips. Since my career change, from banking to agriculture three years ago, I probably take 10 a year. So many cities, airports and hotels you truly begin to feel numb. Once upon a time I could tell you details about every flight I have ever deplaned - down to the aircraft. Now I couldn't even tell you the cities I have seen. The smell of Cinnabons has become a stench in my nostrils! (Did I mention I was reading through the Bible in a year?)

Travel is not an option. My job requires jaunts - whether to West Lafayette to attend Purdue Management School or Egypt to drink a cold beer with T. Krenek. That would be Indiana and Texas - not France and, well Egypt!

So I decided that while I must travel, I don't have to always be Clarence.

On a recent trip to St. Louis, Clarence attended the meetings - but Jack came along as well.

*** We are going to pause here for a little clarity and a reality check. First, I am not crazy, well at least not to the point of needing medication or therapy. Second, this is not an attempt to escape from being a devoted husband and father. ***

Oh, you haven't met Jack? Let's see, Jack sells aircraft engines for a large company based in Europe. Jack is confident, secure and enjoys banter. If Jack were to be cast for a movie - he would be played by Vince Vaughn. Think of Vince in Swingers. Jack is so money he doesn't even know it.

Jack lands in St. Louis and doesn't know a soul. Jack walks through the airport wearing black leather shoes, black pants, black belt, black shirt and a dark jacket. Clarence would wear khaki pants. For effect, Jack wears dark sunglasses - INDOORS! Jack doesn't care - the fine people of St.Louis don't know him and he doesn't know them.

Jack takes a cab to the Hilton striking up a conversation with Boris the cab driver. Jack understands about every third word from Boris. It's possible that Boris has a cousin that married a fiber bearing goat OR his cousin just purchased a fiberglass boat. His accent was thick, probably Eastern Europe - surely a country visited by Jack.

Jack had lunch at the Hilton next to Busch Stadium and chatted with his delightful server Eva. Eva was your typical aunt delivered straight from central casting. Eva asked "Anything I can do for you?" Eva probably wasn't even aware of what she said, having delivered the line a hundred times previous. It was "as matter of fact" as people say "good morning." More of a comment than an actual question. Jack replied, "Can you sing me a good show tune?" Eva relaxed, she became engaged and yes - she even sang a few bars! Eva became a wealth of information about Missouri - where to eat, where to visit. Jack was becoming fun, liberating. More JACK, less CLARENCE!

*** Here we pause again as Clarence attends another session of the meeting. "Growers want an advocate in the seed industry so they have a voice when dealing with ....." Why isn't Jack participating in these meetings! ***

Back to Jack!

Jack's room was on the 17th floor of the West Tower - with a great view of the Arch. The West Tower may have the SSSLLLOOWWWWEEESSTT elevators west of the Mississippi. As Jack boards the elevator he is surrounded by 5 to 6 women in their late 40's to early 50's. As the elevator ascends, it stops at seemingly every floor. About the 7th floor, Jack yells out, "Next floor Housewares!" You would have thought Johnny Carson just finished his monologue. Jack was a star! As the elevator continued to climb, one lady yells out, "Tell me when we get to lingerie!" Jack is now worried. Jack is taking the stairs!

Why isn't Clarence more like Jack? Jack doesn't judge strangers - he talks to them. Jack strikes up conversations with the greeter at the ballpark. Jack eats BBQ on his nachos. Jack doesn't have self-doubt. Jack got Eva to sing and ladies on an elevator to laugh.

Clarence likes Jack. JACK IS GREAT!

I know Jack is inside me - everyday, all the time. Why does he hide? Or why does Clarence hide him?

No Regrets.

I had a good day daddy.

Once an event gets placed on the big office calendar, it is set. The big office calendar controls all major events - paydays, car payments, doctor visits, dreaded business trips and fun time.

A couple of weeks ago, Erin planned her "daddy & daughter" summer trip - Six Flags. The date was marked - July 10th. Would it rain? Would we REALLY go? The last five evenings had been the same - can we print the tickets yet? Hey daddy, if you order online everyone pays kid price! (What can I say, she is cheap like her dad). She even printed off a list of every ride in the park to plan her attack. (Now, if she had put it on a spreadsheet - she would be just like her dad!?

Well, she was up early this morning for the big day. Would it rain? Are we really going?

Every mile that passed was spent looking at the clouds. And every mile that passed was dry. Six Flags was a go. Look! I see a roller coaster!

Success for her was measured in checking all the rides off her list. After 8+ hours, mission accomplished.

"I had a good day daddy," she said on the way to the car.

Success indeed.

No Regrets.

Wooden Snakes & Red Santas

Every couple of days, you'll hear a scream emanate from somewhere in our house. Followed by "Good One!"

You know that someone just stumble upon the hidden wooden snake or our four foot tall plastic Santa.

Sidebar - Let me tell you the story about the plastic Santa. About fifteen years ago, I was coming home from work and stopped by Lowes to buy some Christmas decorations. I always wanted a plastic Santa with a light for the front yard. The purchase was made and the proud addition to our family was presented to Carla. Her reaction?
"Why did you buy a black Santa?"
What!?!
Sure enough, I purchase a black Santa (You may think it would be more appropriate to say an African-American Santa - but can plastic have a nation of origin?) A few minutes later, we were on our way back to Lowes to exchange Santa. Carla marched to the customer service counter to make the exchange - only to be confronted by an African-American associate. Awkward!
"What is the reason for your exchanging Santa today?" asked the clerk.
"Because he's black." responded Carla.

Santa is always a surprise on a June morning when he is hiding behind the shower curtain or siting in your car. "Good one!" Come in late at night and Santa is standing in the laundry room....."Good one!"

The wooden snake was some Dollar Store toy that is very realistic in a poorly lit room. Find a snake in your shoe while getting ready for work. "Good one!" Snake appears in the pantry sitting next to the Fruit Loops. "Good one!"

Sometimes life has a wooden snake or red Santa waiting for you. A surprise, something unexpected. When those surprises come, what is your reaction?

The next time you find that wooden snake say, "Good one!"
The next time you see that red Santa say, "Good one!"

Now if you see a real snake? Run.

No Regrets.

People

Have you ever stopped to think about all the people you have seen in your life?

What about all the people you have talked to in your life?

How about the people you have connected to in your life?

When I think about some of the connections I've made in my life I begin to recall wonderful stories. Stories built on successes and failures; victories and defeats.

Of course, some of the connections are obvious - the ones with my beautiful wife Carla, my kids, my family. Others are unique - each with a story that makes me smile, laugh or ponder their greater meaning.

I think of Tom Dotter who during a Sunday School retreat told me "I love you like a brother." An odd comment at first, but the greater meaning has stuck with me all these years. We are brothers in Christ. He was mature in his Walk, I was just starting. If I saw Tom today, my first words to him would be "I love you like a brother." A connection made through shared Faith.

There is Jamie Crow - who could quite possibly be my brother! Our two girls were born four days apart - over 16 years ago. We both lost our fathers at an age we needed them the most. We both have been blessed with strong women in our lives. He's a good friend, a confidant. A connection made through shared experiences.

I think of George Dixon, a high school teacher who doesn't see color - only kids. Dave Byrd, a guiding force in my Christian walk and Joe Barrow, a wise counsel. So many others - Ina Jekel, Charles Carr, William Mathis, Robert Morgan. Each a connection - a unique connection.

There are so many more - each having left an indelible mark on my life. Each altering my life - adding color to my fabric. Some are still friends, some have since departed - but their connection is no less real. Can something that makes "you" you be denied?

Have I done the same for others? Am I taking, but not giving?

I believe people are put in our lives for a purpose (so of course the opposite must also be true). We should take the time to listen, discern, care - connect. No, we must take the time to listen, discern, care and connect.

I think of what Christian Shephard told Jack, "Nobody does it alone."

I leave you with a quote from Herman Melville:
"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results."

No Regrets

Every moment has a meaning.

One day I was sitting at a red light, and as I often do, I was twirling my wedding band to pass the time. Why? Who knows - maybe I was thinking about having the phrase "One Ring to rule them all...." inscribed using Black Speech, the fictional language of Mordor, written in the artificial script of Tengwar. This particular time I dropped my ring on the floor of my truck. By the time it was retrieved - the light had already turned green. As I began to pull into an intersection, a car from the other direction ran what was now his red light. Had I not dropped the ring would I have been hit by that car?

Who knows, but that moment became important - every moment is important. And so, every moment has a meaning.

Moments are fleeting, but the memories they create can last a lifetime.

Every moment has a meaning. No Regrets.

Father's Day

It was a Spring morning in 1994 when we received the call to come by the hospital because dad had choked on a piece of steak the night before. Although the choking was no longer an immediate concern, the throat swelling that preceded the choking needed to be addressed.

That afternoon, we received the official word that dad had a "growth in his throat" - most likely cancer. Standing there with my mother as the doctors discussed possible treatments (and life expectancy) was surreal. I thought we were going to the hospital to laugh with dad about his poor chewing habits!

To my dad, the news of having cancer was devastating. My dad - 6'3" and 250 lbs of a man gave up in minutes. He was adamant - no treatments. Let me die. Feelings that many in the same situation probably experience. After a few days, the fight was back.

A few weeks later, after a visit to MD Anderson, we found out how severity and aggressiveness of the cancer. As I like to say now, it was "cancer of the everything."

At that point, we had two choices. Give up or Go forward.

My dad and I were fortunate in that we had the next 6 months to do the things that had been placed on hold for whatever reason. We went to that ballgame - you know the one that was too far away last week. And we talked. We toured the Astrodome - you know that thing you don't really want to do. And we talked. He would hold my daughter on his lap. And we talked.

In the Fall of 1994, the end came quickly. He died when his heart failed in the parking lot of MD Anderson. My dad passed away.

That few minutes of choking on a piece of steak created six months of an opportunity to say good bye. I had closure. I had No Regrets.

And we still talk.

I miss you dad.

Happy Father's Day

No Regrets

I was recently told by a good friend that I am living with too many regrets. As with most true statements, it stung a little. At first I questioned their statement; thus defending my very life. Aren't regrets important?

I've spent the better part of the past two days with those words replaying in my mind. Over and over again - "you are living with too many regrets."

You know what? They were right. Once I accepted the truth it was like Benjamin Linus telling Locke, "I don't think you need to be in that chair anymore" during the final few minutes of Lost.

We have free will. We make choices. Do we make poor decisions? Do we make mistakes? Of course we do, but we move on, we learn, we grow.

We are on a journey - No Regrets.